natural disaster
by WednesdaySnow
Summary: [gruvia] [Chapter 394 spoilers] "It's not your fault." And Gray thought no man who killed his own father deserved to be looked at with such tenderness.


**a/n:** I'm a mess and this fic is a mess. Thanks Mashima.

A short piece to let this all out because this week was emotional. Posted on tumblr, and posting here upon request.

**title: **natural disaster

**summary**: gruvia. "It's not your fault." And Gray thought no man who killed his own father deserved to be looked at with such tenderness.

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_I am what I am_

_a natural disaster_

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She found him, a river naturally flowing back to her sea.

Shaken to the core and sliced up by the gusts of his past, Gray Fullbuster camouflaged with the devastated landscape. But she recognized him all the same, this patchwork of visible scars and resilience.

Despite her wish to sprint to his side, she pulled herself back from the momentum of the first step. Watching his head hung low, she clutched the tattered rags barely covering her body, afraid of disclosure.

_Did he know? Should he know?_

Her legs shook in hesitation.

_If she got too close, would he find out?_

_What right did she have to even approach him?_

She eyed the blood he wore, the crevices of his muscles caked in blood. And she decided, the blood didn't belong there.

Swallowing away the risk of exposure and the possibility that she may never allow herself to touch him, to be in his presence again—Juvia staggered over to his slumped form.

Gray ran a hand over the half-dry blood on his torso.

"It's not mine," he chocked. "It's not all mine."

And it didn't belong there, Juvia thought to herself again— staining him as if he were the culprit. Remembering her promise to a good man she never got to know, she turned her limb into a long stream of water, and without invitation, began to purge him.

He winced as the wounds came in contact with her touch, but accepted her gesture with a grunt. She was always doing unnecessary things.

But Juvia performed with purpose. She rained on his body, whose terrain had been completely changed. Valleys and ditches had formed on his once smooth back and torso, new field of scrapes and marshes of bruises. He was full of spaces to fill. And with practiced care, her water mapped his body like veins, hydrating his parched skin and urging the vitality to return.

Her fingers followed the ridges of his collar bones, the thick muscles of his throat, daring to trace them up to his face. His eyes were closed.

The undulating water formed back into warm flesh. And gently, with her own hands this time, Juvia wiped the crimson sin off of his face.

_The sin that belonged on her dirty hands instead._

He grabbed her wrist. However, instead of recoiling from his action, she wrapped her free hand tightly around his cold ones. Her touch wasn't soft this time, but rather, as determined as his own grip.

She knelt in front of him, knee by knee, laying down her guilt before him on the coarse ground.

"Open your eyes, Gray-sama," she said.

Gray only then realized he had kept them closed.

But what if he opened them and saw the world as black as the one behind his eyelids? Or that she would disintegrate before his eyes just like his father, only for her voice to remain echoing in his ears? He recalled the last image of her he had imprinted on his mind, one he was prepared to forgo forever. He couldn't face her, her clear brown eyes softening in affection, her voice calling out to him—

"Gray-sama," she ordered. "Open them."

He obeyed, and immediately cursed.

Gray thought no man who killed his own father deserved to be looked at with such tenderness.

And Juvia, on the other hand, thought she didn't deserve to look him in the eye.

But she required his attention one last time, needed to witness his vast sea of melancholy and lay herself bare before him, to convince him of the single truth—

"It's not Gray-sama's fault."

Her voice quivered, and she hated herself for her nervousness. Gray searched her eyes, and with more conviction this time, she repeated—

"It's not your fault," she said, "It's mine."

Stunned, Gray felt a sudden anger rush to the back of his neck, because _what did she think she was saying, she didn't understand the terrible thing he's done—_

"Juvia defeated the necromancer," she began to sob, keeping her soft eyes locked with his, "I'm sorry, Gray-sama, I'm so sorry..."

The message delivered, Juvia braced for his reaction. Without a word, Gray removed her hand from his cheeks, and she clenched her teeth. _Of course he doesn't want her disgusting hand on him._

So this was it.

She wouldn't ask for forgiveness.

But before she could withdraw her hand from his grip, he pulled her closer, and leaned forward to rest his forehead on her left shoulder. Juvia hiccuped.

"It's not your fault either," he murmured in understanding, repeating her words back to her.

Gray laced their fingers together, their digits coated in his father's blood.

Juvia's body continued to shake violently in relief and apology, but he let her cry for his sake. One day he would be strong enough to ask for her forgiveness, for forcing her to share his burden.

But for now, he hoped is gesture was enough. He closed his eyes again, and rested his weight on her.

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**a/n: **I should really get writing on some of my chapter fics, but I like it short and sweet.

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